what the advertiser thinks they want to hear, they expect to be able to engage in a two-way conversation in which they can tell companies what they want! And, they expect to be listened to when they have difficulties. Not only that, these expectations must come quickly because today’s marketing audience has far too many distractions and far less time in which to deal with them.

With so much distractibility reaching these online consumers can seem a bit elusive however the foundations are the same as with traditional marketing efforts – first think from the perspective of the customer. What type of person are you trying to target for your product, service, or business offerings? What topics would appeal to this audience? What engages them on a personal level? Can this personal interest be tied to your products or services in a way in which you can make a connection between the two?

While it is very important to engage your audience in conversation, it is just as important that the message be more about the consumer than your products. This is extremely important for social media messages. Audiences can more easily navigate from one website to another than the time and energy it takes to turn off a television message in the middle of their favorite TV show. By engaging in conversation that is related to your products or services you will provide ample opportunities for your consumers to ask you questions, without making them feel like your message is a hard sell.

The easy part is knowing what to do; the more difficult step is finding the best way to do that. A good way to show how this might work is through an example. Let’s take crememagnolia.com for instance. As a social media website members have the opportunity to create a new group with a topic of their choosing. Members and partners can also connect with other members, send private messages, post on their personal wire, or interact with others via the new Twitter-like interface that shows up on the site as an @mention.

As a business woman hoping to use this site as a venue to market my products (I sell creative, handmade socks) I might create a new group entitled “My Socks Rock!” This might seem like an odd group, but let’s see how it works out.

First, I’ll connect with other members using the Friendship request feature on the member’s page. Once a member has accepted my friendship I now want to make a personal connection with them. I can do this in one of two ways. 1) I can send them a private message, introduce myself and let them know I look forward to getting to know them, or 2) I could post a message on my wire letting them know I’d like to connect with them more on the website.

This is a personal introduction, and it sets you apart from others because you have taken the time to reach out. If you think about any social site you may be part of, which members do you remember best – those who just throw out their sales pitch, or those who have taken the time to talk to you in a more casual, informal way?

Now once I’ve connected with others in this way I will create my new group. The advantage of having already connected with these friends is that now I can invite them to my group during the creation process because they have already accepted my friendship! I cannot send a personalized message during the invite process, but I hope they will recognize my name and readily accept my group invitation.

Once the invites are out I can get the conversation started. My first forum post will be a question – “What do your favorite pair of socks look like?” I might share with the group that when it comes to socks, comfort is the MOST important element for me. My favorites are soft and slouchy with a little pink bow at the top that makes me feel like a woman”. Then I would ask others to share stories of their favorite socks, what they looked like and why they are favorites.

Now perhaps my audience doesn’t care about other people’s socks. Maybe they feel uncomfortable talking about what’s in their sock drawer. Sometimes it is hard to tell how the audience might respond to our request for them to get involved and engaged in a conversation. If this happens then you need to try another approach. Perhaps a new forum post might talk about the positive benefits of color therapy, and scientific research that indicates how the color of clothing a person wears can have a dramatic impact on their outlook on life. Whatever the approach, the idea is not to yell “Hey look, I sell these socks, and want you to buy them!”

Any smart audience will know you want to sell them something, but by making it so obvious you actually have the opposite effect – now they want to avoid you, because who WANTS to be sold something? Marketing is about helping people realize why they want and need our products and services. It is not about convincing consumers that we need their business; they already know that!

Once the conversation is moving there will be a lot of opportunity for you to inject self-serving plugs that don’t sound canned or forced. By providing a softer sales message in this way you give the consumer the power to “discover” what you have to offer. Who doesn’t like that? By putting your personality first you allow consumers to get to know you, making them far more receptive than they would be to a stranger. You provide an opportunity for more open dialogue and a more trusting customer. THAT truly is the power of the social media marketing age.